Most people have specifications for the type of person they would like to date or marry, but I think it is even more important to make sure that you’re the kind of person someone would like to date or marry! To do this, you need to work on yourself. The truth is, we sometimes spend so much time noticing the shortcomings in potential partners’ characters and behaviours that we fail to notice that we also have shortcomings that could do with some work. Start to prepare for dating and marriage now to go into the future feeling confident and ready.
Here are five areas of life it would be beneficial to work on, while you prepare for dating that leads to a healthy, lasting future relationship.
Prepare spiritually
Your relationship with God will impact your future relationships and marriage. For starters, growing in your walk with God allows you to hear Him more clearly as He guides you in who to enter a relationship with. Also, you’re likely to face certain challenges when you’re in a relationship and you will need spiritual wisdom and maturity to navigate those challenges.
Some practical ways of working on yourself spiritually include praying regularly, reading the Bible and other Christian books, and fellowshipping with other like-minded Christians.
Prepare relationally
This includes relationships with friends, family members, colleagues, etc. How healthy are your relationships? Are you someone that people like spending time with, or do you struggle to make and keep friends? Do you have people that you’re doing life with, that encourage but also challenge you?
Thinking about how you can build healthy relationships is a good way to work on yourself whilst preparing for dating and marriage. If you have close friends or family members you may want to consider asking them to tell you areas about your character that might be challenging.
Being open to honest but loving criticism can give you an idea of aspects of your character that you may need to change or work on. A healthy relationship with those around you lays a good foundation for a future dating or marriage relationship.
Prepare emotionally
Many of us are carrying around with us, past traumas and hurts that we haven’t yet healed from. It could be traumas from our upbringing, or even more recent hurts, like failed relationships. It is a good idea to deal with these or at least be working on them before entering a new relationship, as any past traumas can impact the way you relate with others.
So, go for counselling, or therapy, talk to your pastor or church’s counsellors, read helpful books, and pray. Forgive anyone you need to forgive and take active steps to let go of past hurts. Ask God to heal you from any emotional pain or trauma that you’re still holding onto, and trust that He will.
Prepare financially
Coming into a relationship with a healthy attitude towards money and finances will prevent potential stressful situations.
Working on your attitude to money and finances is very important. It is said that money is one of the major reasons for divorce in marriages. The Bible has a lot to say about money too. So, make sure that your relationship with money is a healthy one. Consider things like budgeting, saving, investing, giving to charity and tithing, and where how they could be part of your money habits.
If you have a healthy financial mindset, having conversations about money with a future partner won’t be too difficult or awkward. Practical ways of working on yourself financially include reading books or watching videos or shows about financial education, getting a financial advisor, and taking some time to review your attitude towards money including your spending habits.
Prepare with knowledge
Educate yourself about dating and relationships. Reading books, listening to podcasts, and watching teachings on marriage and relationships are all great ways to build your knowledge and learn about what makes a relationship work.
You would need to put what you learnt into practice, of course, when the time comes, but whilst you’re waiting for that to happen, take the time to educate yourself so that you’re armed with the knowledge that you need.
There are so many ways in which you can work on yourself as you prepare for dating and marriage – financially, mentally and emotionally being just some of them. Taking the time to reflect on different areas of your life and seeing if there are ways to improve is a worthwhile investment that will help you to be more rounded when you finally meet someone and start a relationship.
What are the helpful ways you’ve found to prepare for dating?
Enjoyed reading ‘5 practical ways to prepare for dating and marriage’? There’s more helpful advice at ‘Starting again – 7 tips for dating after a break‘ and ‘Preparing yourself for marriage‘ and much more on the Christian Connection blog
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